Diddy - Dirty Money - Coming Home ft. Skylar Grey

"Getting back to the place I belong . . ." I know that life is hard. It is not fun. It is like living in perpetual high school. It is bad enough that I work in a high school every day, but my life is still like that. I want to get back to that simpleness of life.

The simple life . . . Knowing that your significant other loves you and you love him, you have children, and sure there are issues, but that does not involve cheating or lying. I know that it can exist.

Some times, I feel that I deserve that and some times I feel that I do not. When I really look at myself, I realize that I am just as guilty as any sinner. I realized that I married my best friend, and that was a right decision. What was not right, was the fact that I realized 13 years too late that I cared for another friend when it was too late.

When I look at my life, I wish that I could change a few things, but I would not be the person that I am today if I had changed anything. Maybe one day, things will be simple again. I know that it is possible if I am being real. I have been real with my old friend, but the pain must be too much, or maybe the truth was stretched.

All I know is that I want to come home again to a family instead of staring at walls of emptiness.

Neon Trees - Animal (Viral Version)

This song has been in my head for awhile now, amongst other things. I have been debating my feelings and thoughts for some time now. Apparently, I have been having a war within myself and my feelings toward another person.

I have finally realized that no matter whether or not a person truly likes me or not; it will be right when it is right. I know that there is a person out there who will like me for who I am, and he will make his intentions known clearly.

I am done with the second guessing of my life. Like the song states, "Uh oh, what are you waiting for, say goodbye to my heart tonight" . . . I am waiting until I know that the person is the right person. No more guessing games, no more confusion, and no more wondering . . . If the person is meant to be with me, then we will know it.

Timing is not always fun, but maybe the timing will be right one day. If not, so be it.